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Jul17
Mile High Joke Of The Day: “Men Are Like…”
Filed under: 5280 Denver News, Mile High Joke Of The Day; Tagged as: Clean Jokes, Funny Jokes, Mile High Joke Of The Day, Relationship Jokes1 CommentMen are like ……. Laxatives …… They irritate the @#%$ out of you.
Men are like …….. Bananas ……. The older they get, the less firm they are.
Men are like ……… Vacations ….. They never seem to be long enough.
Men are like ……… Weather …… Nothing can be done to change them.
Men are like ……… Blenders …… You need One, but you’re not quite sure why.
Men are like …….. Chocolate Bars ….. Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.
Men are like …….. Coffee …… The best ones are rich, warm, & can keep you up all night long.
Men are like ……… Commercials ….. You can’t believe a word they say.
Men are like …….. Department Stores …… Their clothes are always 1/2 off.
Men are like …….. Government Bonds …… They take soooooooo long to mature.
Men are like …….. Mascara …… They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
Men are like …….. Popcorn ……. They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
Men are like ……… Snowstorms ….. You never know when they’re coming, how many inches you’ll get or how long it will last.
Men are like …….. Lava Lamps …… Fun to look at, but not very bright.
Men are like …….. Parking Spots …… All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped
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Jul17
Mile High Joke Of The Day: “Beautiful and Cute”
Filed under: 5280 Denver News, Mile High Joke Of The Day; Tagged as: Clean Jokes, Funny Jokes, jokes, Mile High Joke Of The Day, Relationship JokesNo CommentsMy husband was just coming out of anesthesia after a series of tests in the hospital, and I was sitting at his bedside. His eyes fluttered open, and he murmured, “You`re beautiful.”
Flattered, I continued my vigil while he drifted back to sleep. Later he woke up and said, “You`re cute.”
“What happened to `beautiful`?” I asked him.
“The drugs are wearing off,” he replied.
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