Mile High Top Sites ®™

1. They start paying everyone quickly.

2. The FEDS on the corner is threatening a hostile takeover.

3. When you say, “See you tomorrow,” the watchman laughs uncontrollably.

4. The chairman walks by your desk and says, “Hey, Hey! Easy on the staples!”

5. The initials of your company are “AIG”

6. Conference room has been turned into chinchilla farm.

7. Conversations at the water cooler are mainly with yourself.

8. Your boss casually asks you if you know anything about starting fires.

9. You get a lot of memos from the Japanese and China.

10. Your boss asks you not to cash your check until next week.

11. Your boss found out about BlogThisToTheBank.com a new way make over $33,000.00 USD in one month online fast way to make money!

1. “I can’t find it.”
MEANS: It didn’t fall into my outstretched hands, so I am completely clueless.

2. “That’s women’s work.”
MEANS: It’s difficult, dirty and thankless.

3. “Will you marry me?”
MEANS: Both of my roommates have moved out, I can’t find the washer and there’s no peanut butter left.

4. “It’s a guy thing.”
MEANS: There’s no rational thought pattern connected to it and you have no chance at all of making it logical.

5. “Can I help with dinner?”
MEANS: Why isn’t it already on the table?

6. “It would take too long to explain.”
MEANS: I have no idea how it works.

7. “I’m getting more exercise lately.”
MEANS: The batteries in the remote are dead.

8. “We’re going to be late.”
MEANS: I have a legitimate reason for driving like a maniac.

9. “Take a break, honey, you’re working too hard.”
MEANS: I can’t hear the game over the vacuum cleaner.

10. “That’s interesting dear.”
MEANS: Are you still talking?

11. “Honey, we don’t need material things to prove our love.”
MEANS: I forgot our anniversary again.

12. “You expect too much from me.”
MEANS: You expect me to stay awake?

13. “It’s really a good movie.”
MEANS: It’s got guns, knives, fast cars and lots of women.

14. “You know how bad my memory is.”
MEANS: I remember the words to the theme song of F-Troop, the address of the first girl I kissed and the vehicle identification number of every car I’ve ever owned, but I forgot your birthday.

15. “I was just thinking about you, and got you these roses.”
MEANS: The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe.

16. “Oh, don’t fuss. I just cut myself, it’s no big deal.”
MEANS: I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit I’m hurt.

17. “Hey, I’ve got reasons for what I’m doing.”
MEANS: What did you catch me at?

18. “She’s one of those rabid feminists.”
MEANS: She refused to make my coffee.

19. “I heard you.”
MEANS: I haven’t the foggiest clue what you just said, and hope I can fake it well enough so that you don’t spend the next three days yelling at me.

20. “You know I could never love anyone else.”
MEANS: I am used to the way you nag at me, and realize it could be worse.

21. “You really look terrific in that outfit.”
MEANS: Please don’t try on one more outfit, I’m starving.

22. “I brought you a present.”
MEANS: It was free ice scraper night at the hockey game.

23. “I missed you.”
MEANS: I can’t find my sock drawer, the kids are hungry, and we’re out of toilet paper.

24. “I’m not lost. I know exactly where we are.”
MEANS: No one will ever see us alive again.

25. “This relationship is getting too serious.”
MEANS: I like you almost as much as I like my truck.

26. “I don’t need to read the instructions.”
MEANS: I am perfectly capable of screwing it up without printed help.