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A baby was born who was so advanced, he could talk. He looked around the delivery room and saw the doctor.

“Are you my doctor?” he asked.

“Yes, I am,” said the doctor.

The baby said, “Thank you for taking such good care of me during the birth.”

He looked at his mother and asked, “Are you my mother?”

“Yes, I am,” said the mother.

“Thank you for taking such good care of me before I was born,” he said.

He then looked at his father and asked, “Are you my father?”

“Yes, I am,” his father answered.

The baby motioned him closer, then poked him repeatedly on the forehead with his index finger. “Hurts doesn’t it!?!”

Jill and John got married. John thought this would be a “marriage of the 90’s” — equal roles for equal partners. So, the first morning back from their honeymoon, he brought Jill breakfast in bed. Jill wasn’t impressed with his culinary skills, however.

She looked disdainfully at the tray, and snorted, “Poached? I wanted scrambled!”

Undaunted, the next morning, John brought his true love a scrambled egg. Jill wasn’t having any of it.

“Do you think I don’t like variety? I wanted poached this morning!”

Determined to please Jill, the next morning he thought, “third time’s a charm” and brought her two eggs — one scrambled and one poached. “Here, my love, enjoy!”

Jill looks at the plate and says, “You scrambled the wrong egg.”