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In an informal, unscientific poll of random people, I asked which of the following three issues was the most common cause of frustration in marriage: sex, kids or money. While many scratched their heads and wanted to choose “all of the above” when I pressed for the best option, the overwhelming majority chose money. Not surprising, whether couples have a lot or a little money, it is not unusual that money conversations and decisions can turn sour in a hurry.

First of all, we have to recognize and acknowledge that we come from different backgrounds and have different ideas about money. Some people think “Money doesn’t grow on trees” and others think “Money is there for the taking.” Can you see how Ann who thinks “A penny saved is a penny earned” and John who thinks “Live for today” may face some conflict in their buying decisions if they don’t discuss money clearly together as a couple?

In business, when a company makes a decision that will require a financial commitment, one of the key players involved in the decision making process is the Chief Financial Officer. This is the person whose job it is to know all the numbers and approve or deny requests based on the financial data.

If your marriage was a business, who would be the Chief Financial Officer? Would you and your spouse be Co- CFOs? Do you regularly de-brief each other on the state of your financial affairs?

When I’m working with salespeople they always tell me they want to sell more and make more money. My first question is “more than what? Where are you right now in real dollars?” If they stumble for the answer and can’t give me a clear cut bottom line number, I know the problem is that they just don’t have a grasp on where they are today.

How do you know if you should pull back and tighten the spending belt or when you can splurge on a fancy dinner or vacation without feeling guilty if you don’t know the numbers?

If you don’t take responsibility for knowing your financial reality it can only hurt you. No good can come of being in the dark when it comes to your net worth and bank account. It’s only more frustrating for the spouse who does look at the finances to talk about money with the spouse who does not understand the finances. Now, I’m not assuming it’s always the man who understands the money and the woman who goes out and spends unnecessarily. It can work both ways. It is not the “CFO spouse” whose job it is to explain the financial position to the other; it’s the other spouse’s responsibility to make sure they understand their situation.

Businesses look at their numbers constantly. If they didn’t consider the numbers in all their decisions they would not be around long. When I coach a company’s salespeople, they have to know on a daily basis where they are in relationship to making their sales goals. How can you make any adjustments if you don’t know exactly where you stand?

Business people have to be comfortable talking about money. In our personal lives, this is as important as it is in business. Make sure you set up a regular “date” with your spouse at the end of every month to spend an hour going through the credit card statements and bank statements. Calculate your monthly expenditures and create a budget you can both align on so you know what you can and can’t do before you have to consult each other on money issues and purchases.

Couples who work together as a team when it comes to money are much less likely to argue about money. Money is one of the most common things people argue about so talk about it regularly and ensure there are no surprises by planning, budgeting & setting goals, just like any business would naturally do.

It’s much easier to make good financial decisions for the family when the “CEO & CFO” (you and your spouse!) of the marriage understand the balance sheet.

This is just one of the secrets to a happy mairrage, know more from Oprah’s Top Relationship Expert, Act NOW!

Why are some relationships more honest than others? Why are some couples more truthful with each other while others like to deceive the partner? Nobody deserves to be lied, but there are no doubts that women are telling lies considerably and often. But so men do the same.

If you have trust issues in your relationship, in general, a woman may lie to you. Trust is something that you must build from the beginning of the relationship. Even though, a lot of people say ‘‘white lies” in order to make others feel better. Some women lie because, as caring creatures they want to spare the feelings of the man they are dating or seeing.

So, here are some common lies told by women that you should know. Someday you might hear them from your partner and it is better to know their real meaning.

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1.You’re perfect. I love you just the way you are and I wouldn’t change a thing about you. Let’s be serious; nobody is perfect. At the beginning of a relationship all of them say this because they didn’t know you very well but after some time will definitely find something that needs changed. So, if she tells you something like this, don’t be too enthusiastic because she finds you perfect just for a couple of days, and after that she will ask you to change.

2.You’re right. Every time you are arguing with you’re girlfriend usually ends up by telling you that you are right? Maybe this makes you feel proud of you, but you have to know that this is a big lie. She said this just to make you shut up, even if she didn’t consider that you’re right. She knows that after a while you will see that she was right, and may be waiting for apologize.

3.Nothing is wrong. The most common lie ” I’m fine” when asked if there is something wrong is the most used by women. You see that she is upset, she is acting strange or doesn’t want to talk to you too much and ask her what is the problem she says that everything is fine. They don’t want to tell the real truth but they are expecting that men to figure out that something is wrong and those they had a mistake with something.

4.I do love sports honey. Maybe she agrees to stay and watch with you every week at a football game but this doesn’t really mean that she like it. She accepts to do this just to show you that she is different from other girls and you have common interest. You may be thinking that you have found the perfect girl for you, because not many of them would like to stay to watch football, but don’t be too happy because after a while she might had enough and get angry every time you sit down to watch a game.

5.I like spending time with your friends. At the beginning this is ok, but not too much. Even if they are good friends of you, she would like to spend more time alone with you and not with your friends. If she didn’t tell you already this, she will ask you to keep visits from your buddies at minimum and then she might keep pretending she loves them.

6.Your family is adorable, so I like spending time with your family. The truth? Maybe twice a month. Think about it. Do you really think that she likes to spend time with your family where everybody is criticizing her and watch her every move? She agrees to spend time with your family when is necessary but she doesn’t do it with much pleasure even if she is pretending in front of you that she likes them.

7.Your bank account doesn’t matter. I hope you didn’t believe this. We all know that this is definitely a lie. All women want a guy that is financial stable and independent, a guy that can assure her a future with no financial problems. This doesn’t mean that you have to be very rich to have a girlfriend, but you have to have some money.

8.It doesn’t bother to me if you look after women or go with your boys at strip-clubs. This is too good to be truth. Even she says that this is ok, she will definitely be upset that you want to go. They hate to feel second best to a night out with the guys, and accept this in order to make themselves seem less pathetically needy. If you choose to go, she will make you a lot of comments after, so you better think twice before you go.

9.You are very good in bed. If she choose to speak about this topic without you ask her, you don’t have to believe all she says. If she starts to compliment you about your sexual experience it doesn’t mean that she really believes that. Often a woman who cares about a man tell him all that she knows he wants to hear just to make him feel good about himself. So think about your girlfriend, your relationship, your sexual experience and see if you really deserve compliments on this topic.

10.Don’t worry, it happens to everyone. If you just make a mistake, or fail in bed, you might hear this lie from your girlfriend. She doesn’t want to show you how upset she is on you but in her mind thinks something else. I wouldn’t be too sure that your mistake is forgiven and I would worry in not making too many ” accidents” like these.

With all these presented, now will be more easy for you to know when your girlfriend is lying. As you see, what a woman says is not what she really thinks.

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