Mile High Top Sites ®™

Young children in Colorado were learning the effects about how thunder and lighting work. The science teacher explains that the month of June is more active than any other month usually for Colorado. “We have many thunder storms in Colorado in the month of June” says the science teacher.

Science teacher continues to say, “When electrical charge builds up in a thunderstorm then the lightning is formed. These electrically charged particles emits bright light and the electrical current heats up the air into a plasma mass which produces the acoustic shocks which we can hear as the roaring of the thunder.”

Children grasp their parents as lighting in background and then thunder shakes the ground. The science teacher say, “Kids we better get in ‘When you hear thunder run into shelter for safety”.

All the kids go into the recreational center. ‘We better call it day. Now kids,’ says the science teacher, “I want you to go home and ask some questions about thunder and lighting from your Grandparents.”

So all the kids agree to ask their Grandparents about lightning and thunder.

So Ashley runs home and asks her Grandfather, “What makes thunder and lightning?”. Grandpa Force says, “God is bowling and when he makes a strike, you see lightning and thunder!”

Little Ashley, says, ”Wow really, Grandpa?”

Grandfather Force says, “Yes! I fact I know God bowled a 300 game last night. I head it thunder 300 times!”

Ashley is all excited about learning about thunder and lighting and wants to go bowling. However, Grandmother Force, says “Oh, dear you can’t trust Grandpa. Honey, every one know when God is taking pictures when it’s thundering and lighting.”

Little Ashley, says, ”Wow really, Grandma?”

Grandma Force says, “Sure when you lighting you flash don’t you?.” Little Ashley says, “Yes, Grandma!”. Grandma Force further explains, “You see dear he just wants to take a picture of all the little kids on earth because they are precious to God.”

Ashley says, “Wow, I want to be a photographer!”

Now by this time Great Grandmother Force comes in the room and says, “No! No! You have it all wrong. We all know that God is opening up the heavens when it thunders and lightings. Yes, God wants us to see the heavens!!”

Little Ashley, says, ”Wow really, Great Grandma?”

Ashley says, “Wow, Great Grandma! Have you seen heaven?” Great Grandma Force says, “Yes I have dear it’s all made of Gold. When lighting strikes all around God opens up the heavens for all to see. Dear, you really can’t see anything dear because of all the flashing lighting of silver. You know God is very rich!”

Ashley say, “I want to be rich with God!”

The next day at the recreational center the science teacher asked little Ashley, “What did you learn about lighting and thunder from your Grandparents?”

Ashley said, “My Grandfather told me God is bowling. My Grandmother told me God is taking pictures and my Great Grandmother told me God is opening up the heavens for everyone to see him.”

The science teacher looked confused about this and said, “What do you believe?”

Well, little Ashley said, “Well I think my Grandpa loves bowling. Grandma loves to take pictures of our family and Great Grandma wonders if she going to go heaven soon. If you ask me I think they are ‘all off their rocker’. Everyone knows that thunder and lighting comes from their science teacher!”

It is near the end of the school year. The teacher has turned in the grades and there is really nothing more to do. All the children are restless because of this.

Teacher: “Whoever answers the questions I ask first and correctly can leave early today.”

Little Johnny says to himself “Good, I want to get outta here. I’m smart and will answer the question.”

Teacher: “Who said ‘Four Score and Seven Years Ago’?”

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says, “Abraham Lincoln.”

Teacher: “That’s right Susie, you can go home.”

Johnny is MAD that Susie answered the question first.

Teacher: “Who said ‘I Have a Dream’?”

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Mary says, “Martin Luther King.”

Teacher: “That’s right Mary, you can go.”

Johnny is even madder than before.

Teacher: “Who said ‘Ask not, what your country can do for you’?”

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Nancy says, “John F. Kennedy.”

Teacher: “That’s right Nancy, you may also leave.”

Johnny is BOILING mad that he has not been able to answer to any of the questions.

When the teacher turns her back Johnny says, “I wish women would keep their mouths shut!”

The teacher turns around: “NOW WHO SAID THAT?!?!”

Johnny: “BILL CLINTON. CAN I GO NOW?”

The night before one exam, two students tied one on, (well, actually, tied two on, one each), and managed to sleep through the final. They realized they were in serious trouble, so they agreed to tell the professor that they had a flat tire on the way to the exam.

“No problem.” said the Professor, “Come by my office at 5 P.M. and I’ll give you the exam then.”

Feeling pretty clever, the students spent the intervening time getting information on the exam from students who had already taken it, and making sure they knew how to do the problems.

Coming to the professor’s office that evening, they were told, “Leave your books in my office, and I’ll put you in two separate rooms for the exam.”

They were both ecstatic to see that the Professor had given them the exact same exam taken by the class that morning. However, there was an additional page tacked on the end, upon which was written, “For 50% of the grade, which tire was flat?”

One day a teacher had a taste test with her students. She picked alittle boy to do the first test. She blind folded him, put a Hershey kiss in his mouth and asked, “Do you know what it is?”

“No, I don’t,” said the little boy.

“Okay, I’ll give you a clue. It’s the thing your daddy wants from your Mom before he goes to work.”

Suddenly, a little girl at the back of the room yelled, “Spit it out! It’s a piece of Ass.”

A Spanish teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine. ”House” for instance, is feminine: ”la casa.” ”Pencil,” however, is masculine: el lápiz.”

A student asked, ”What gender is ‘computer’?” Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether ”computer” should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.

The men’s group decided that ”computer” should definitely be of the feminine gender (”la computadora”), because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic.
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval.
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

The women’s group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine (’el computador”), because:

1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on.
2. They have a lot of data but still can’t think for themselves.
3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem.
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.

The women won.